Thursday, January 31, 2013

Adventurous Woman Wanted

Last week the Vengeance Team discussed how difficult it is for science-lovin' ladies to get jobs in universities. Fortunately, right after posting that article, Amy discovered a gem in the trash heap that is her Facebook newsfeed, an article that restored her dreams of employment. Science be praised, professors of genetic research at Harvard University are seeking an adventurous woman for a job! YES! SCORE! WOMAN WANTED!!!

...To give birth to a neanderthal clone


The Vengeance Team had slightly different reactions to the news.

For Amy, this moment was like destiny knocking. And like a good girl, she opened that door (she thought it was a set of Mormon Missionaries, a topic we will save for a later post). It's as if the stars aligned for Amy to be young and fertile at THIS EXACT POINT in geologic time, right when the wonders of science can bone her (and by this we of course mean impregnate her with DNA cultivated from remaining genetic material in, of course, a bone). Luckily a job at the student athlete center and a strong love of costume parties has prepared Amy well for dealing with cavemen.

This moment in time also aligns well with job and grant application season, so Meaghan and Amy figured they could use this opportunity to give readers some pointers for job applications. Harvard, prepare yourself. Click to read our cover letter in all its glory!

Job Application Tip # 1 - Basically everything we just did there... don't do that.

Sidenote: while Meaghan fully supports Amy in all her breeding adventures, Meaghan's own womb is being saved in reserve for alien babies only, because she's worried about the hygiene requirements of all that excess body hair. 

Another Sidenote: in lieu of NSF funding, Meaghan is currently in the market to sell really unflattering cartoon sketches of people to pay for her research expenses. So if you really want a sketch of a stick figure with a witch nose or gigantic cankles, drop her a line!

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