Friday, February 8, 2013

14 Days of Genitals, Day 2: Prehensile Penises

 #2: Prehensile Penises
And to follow up a post on dicks that look like hands, here are some other ding-a-lings that could be confused for palms!
No, how do you do?
Turns out that dolphins and whales have extremely large, prehensile peckers that can explore all sorts of fun nooks and crannies, including hands! Flipper's little Philip is quite lonely and aggressive, too. One study on dolphin and swimmer interactions recorded 13 out of 29 dolphins had periods of misdirected sexual behavior towards buoys, vessels and humans. So next time you wanna go swimming with dolphins make sure you don't wave 'hello' too vigorously...

African elephants, not surprisingly, also have absolutely gigantic male appendages! Not only are they impressive in size, but also function. These prehensile peepees literally sub in as a third leg. Let's take a moment to check out the life of a male elephant:

Belly itch but no fingers? Not a problem, I've got a built-in belly scratcher!
Tired of standing on my own feet? Just use my giant slong to take a quick breather! 
Bugs buzzing all up in my bizniss? Swat 'em with that evolutionary fly catcher! 
Hot momma over by the watering hole? Wave hello AND impress at the same time!

Other Penis Purposes: picking up contact lenses they dropped, dowsing for water, and threatening small snakes.

Works Cited
"Chapter 15 Marine Mammals: Fisheries, Tourism and Management Issues". Cetaceans that are typically lonely and seek human company. 2003. pp. 266–268. Retrieved December 17, 2006. 


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    1. Damn Paula you off the bean.🤫💯

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    4. you good Paula??? 👁👄👁

  2. Came for dolphin dicks
    Stayed for random vampiric paulas