Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Poster Session Drinking Game

Poster sessions are the first part of the day when it's socially acceptable to drink at a conference (don't try it earlier, people think you're weird, don't ask how we know). Poster sessions are also one of the strangest people-watching experiences outside of Vegas (and yes, that year SVP was in Vegas at the same time as the porn convention was one of the greatest people-watching collisions of all time).

With SVP scale bars, naturally

The interactions you have at a poster session will stay with you for the rest of your life (good or bad), so we've decided to formalize your drinking and people-watching experience with a drinking game.

Safari Steve/Sandy: Is someone modelling full-blown Dr. Grant? Field gear is a common outfit choice at this indoor event. 1 drink for each piece of clothing (top, bottom, field boots, etc.). Finish your drink if they are carrying any of the following: Brunton, rock hammer, acryloid/vinac.

Conspiracy theory: Some of our members are unusual, and if they get drunk they are even more so. If it's about Aliens: 1 drink, Bigfoot: 2 drinks

Fallen Soldier: Anytime you see the NSF symbol on someone else's poster, take one drink and if the wait staff aren't looking, pour one out for the homies/grants you never got.

Skullet: 1 drink for mullet + balding combo.

Tweed Jacket: If you see one you can take a drink, but only if you raise it first in a toast to the tweed-wearer without explaining why and then wander away while they are confused. If they act like they know why you did that, it's two drinks.

The Illegible: Poster with text you can't read from 3 feet away is 1 drink.

Cowboy Hats - We're in Texas so it's not strictly fair, so we'll lower the requirements: 1 drink for every third cowboy hat.

Lonely, Oh-So-Lonely: 1 drink every time you see someone standing sadly by themselves by their poster. Then, now that you've had a drink... go talk to them.

Fanboying/Fangirling: One drink for every time you see someone obviously science-flirting with one of our more famous members (Jack Horner, Jim Kirkland, etc.). As a definition: does anyone look like they are going to faint? Is someone being asked to sign something? Do you see a lot of self-fanning and hear the phrase "I am just such a big fan"? Then drink.

Silent Nod of Judgement: If you see an SVP member lean into a poster, flick back and forth between results and the title, then give a begrudging nod, that is 1 drink. If they do not say anything to the person who is standing RIGHT THERE PRESENTING THE POSTER, that's two drinks... and you should probably get that presenter a drink too.

Nerd Alert: For every nerdy t-shirt you see that you do not understand, that's a drink.

Poster Jams: where colleagues decide to meet up and have long conversations right in front of the damned poster you really wanted to see. 1 drink generally, 2 if they stop up traffic through the entire area.

Male Ponytails, aka the StallionTail: Men at SVP love their ponytails. 1 drink for every second glorious constrained male mane that you see. 2 drinks if they have multi-rubber-banded it ala Jasmine in Aladdin.

Chummed Waters: 1 drink for every poster that has too many damned people around it and you can't talk to the author but it's really cool research and you had a great question but you'd need to have sharper elbows to access them.

HAVE A GREAT AND VERY DRUNK SVP EVERYONE! If you'd like to meet us, we'll be the ones puking in the trash cans.

(also Amy has a poster on Wednesday, Meaghan has a talk at the ass-crack of dawn aka 8:45 in the morning in technical session I. That's a good place to find us too.)